Chepooka

Hypocrites, Skinny Bitches and Frog Legs

After hearing so much fuss and buzz about this book online and from friends who’ve started passing it around, I read Skinny Bitch yesterday afternoon (it’s a super fast read).

This book, judged solely by it’s cover, is a book written by former models, toted around by uber-skinny fashionistas, and you’re thinking what I’m thinking: “eat dust and lemon water and you’ll be all set, that’ll be $13.95 please.”

Hand to God I had no idea that this book was an argument for adopting a vegan lifestyle. *Swear!*

It’s an entertaining read because it’s written in that voice you have in your head, for example: “You know you shouldn’t eat that dough dipped in lard, right asshole?”

People!! It seems like the universe has been trying to tell me something lately. I was ready to read this book I think. I’ve gone from steak and martinis to hmmm, maybe I’ll stop eating meat to, “what would happen if I became a vegan?”

First, I meet my awesome neighbors who are veggies. They’re normal people with cute clothes and stylish haircuts and they just happen to drink rice milk rather than martinis, nachos rather than burgers. So that got me thinking. They don’t seem like those people—lesbians with good skin and a rolled up yoga mat tucked inside their pit, or middle-aged men that smell a little funky because they don’t use antiperspirant, with graying pony tails and t-shirts that say “Buy Local”. Now. Don’t misunderstand, I’m a fan. But I just don’t happen to identify. (Come to think of it, when I decided I was a feminist around age 20—I never did look much like my womens studies classmates but decided that giving up shaved legs and nail polish wasn’t necessary and they were gonna have to deal. hmmmm.)

Let me get back to the book, first. In a nutshell, to be healthy, you have to give up all your vices. Those include:

caffeine
alcohol (with the exception of organic, no-sulfites-added wine)
cigarettes
meat
dairy
aspertame (bye bye diet pepsi)

Uh, check please!

I no longer smoke, got it. I’ve already cleared my pantry of products containing hydrogenated oils or high fructose corn syrup and I survived. I can live without eating farm animals, done. But the rest is going to be a challenge.

First, I am going to chip away at ridding aspertame. That’s going to be a hard one because I’m addicted to diet pepsi, but I know I need to do it. In fact I’ve done it before and I feel so much better. But if I do that? I’ll have to keep coffee.

I can give up dairy and eggs. This one is going to be super super hard, but luckily there are substitutes.

What I won’t give up, though, is fish. I live in Alaska see. And I get 100% of my fish straight from the people who catch them. I know where they come from, I know that they don’t languish and suffer, that they come from clean waterways. I might even partake in venison, which also comes straight from the people who hunt them. I grew up in that culture, in a family where respect for animals and hunting and fishing were not mutually-exclusive.

Now, here’s the dilemma. I don’t want to go around being all high and mighty and pure because I’m making sacrifices based on ethical considerations and then not have a label. I think that deserves a label!

I remember once in college I had a spanish teacher, and she told us en espanol that she was a veg, only, she did eat animals that she caught herself. Like, she loved frog legs. The crazy woman caught her own frogs and cooked them up for dinner. There has to be a special label for that.

Vegetarians and vegans want those labels to *mean something* and I totally, 100% respect that. I can’t say I’m a vegan if I eat fish, they’d probably sooner hunt me and eat me for dinner than eat a big mac. (mmmm, big mac)

You’re an asshole if you live your life as a hypocrite, I won’t do it. I will be making some changes, though. To be continued ...

Posted by chepooka on 06/22 at 09:59 AM

Comments

I really admire what you’re doing. Good for you!

Posted by Betty on 06/22 at 11:25 AM

Awww. *blush* thanks Betty. :D

Posted by chepooka on 06/24 at 06:16 PM

Hey I totally agree.
There are some things I can’t give up either. Like burgers on a summer afternoon.

I don’t eat meat from the store. There is a grass-fed beef farm near me. If I want to see how the cows are treated, all I have to do is drive 2 miles south and see them all roaming a plenty big pasture and happily munching grass. So I’m OK with that.

Milk and eggs? Buy organic. Those cows are treated to a pasture, and if you are willing to pay $3.50 for your eggs as opposed to 99cents, you can get eggs from free-range chickens.

So no, I can’t go vegan. I tried it in college. And yunno… I DID go through a phase where I didn’t shave legs, until I just got too grossed out at the sight of my own hairy man-like legs sticking out of shorts. Or peeking from the hem of my bluejeans. Yuuuuk. I shave.

I have given up sugar for the most part. I gave up white flour, and like you, I don’t have HCFS or MSG or even soda of any kind in my house. I make my own tea. I distill my own damn water.

But I can’t give up coffee or alcohol. Sorry. Not happening. I am WELL AWARE of what it does to me. I know if I drink coffee every day for 2 weeks straight I get bad cramps and have trouble standing up. I know that after drinking too much wine that my veins disappear from dehydration and I am just BEGGING for a yeast infection if I do it too much over the course of a month… but yunno?

The key, is moderation. You can have it all (except that aspertame, honey, get rid of that shit!) in moderation.