Chepooka

How to protect yourself

When I was in college, my roomate—a tough old gal from New Jersey, used to always say “You’re too fucking friendly.” It annoyed her. She spent three years fielding calls from the “poor saps” I’d give my phone number to with no intention of ever talking with them again. I was that girl, I know. I know.

I still have a habit of being overly friendly. Like, I make it a habit to introduce myself to all of my neighbors if I see them out and about. They are incredibly friendly people.

I was walking with my building-neighbor last night and she mentioned that her husband reprimanded her because we’ve been so friendly—that there are a number of sex offenders in the immediate vicinity.

Those types of things never cross my mind. I’m offering up all kinds of information like, “I work from home. I live right there.” Hi, just call me TARGET.

So I’m discussing this with my interweb homies and it was decided that it’s not a bad thing to be friendly. But I may want to think about safety a little bit, hello.

He said:

Mace everyone when you meet them. If they talk to after that they’re probably ok.

It think it’s good to cautious but be wary of allowing paranoia to creep into your reasoning. Chances are that it’s harmless. At lot of creepy guys out there - and most aren’t sex offenders. There are lots of nice guys too - I like to think we outnumber the result of them. We just never get any action.

Get an attack monkey. Those things are vicious.

I said:

I would love an attack monkey, where do I get one of those?

Posted by chepooka on 04/25 at 07:50 AM

Comments

I hear you have to goto the Oval Office to get an attack monkey.

Posted by tas on 04/25 at 12:13 PM

what if Karl’s busy?

Posted by chepooka on 04/25 at 12:19 PM

I thought you were looking for an attack monkey, not the Blob.

Posted by tas on 04/25 at 12:42 PM

That conversation was a riot. I think there could be a big market for attack monkeys.

Of course if you were single it could put some real pressure on your date not to make any sudden moves. Guy reaches in for a kiss and BAM! Attack monkey wrapped around his head trying to rip his ears off. I don’t think that would lead to another date. So maybe if a girl likes the guy she could leave the monkey home after the first date or so. Just to give the poor guy a break.

Posted by Neuro on 04/25 at 03:25 PM

nothing wrong with a little attack monkey test. separates the men from the boys I’m sure.

Posted by chepooka on 04/25 at 04:41 PM

Don’t lose your Minnesota nice but always trust your gut.

Attack monkey - the image that’s popped into my head is that of a beefed up Sea Monkey with lots of tats tossing a knife back & forth with webbed hands. My brain is a scary place.

Posted by balou on 04/25 at 06:28 PM