Chepooka

Busy Body

Let me get this out of the way right up front: I am nosy neighbor lady from down the street.

I like to know my neighbors, the names of their dogs, who is on the sex offender registry and who is responsible for dumping mattresses by our dumpster. I also like to have the phone numbers to the community council members, the police, the municipal “clean up” programs for when people abandon an old jalopy in front of our building or something. I keep an eye on things.

Today, I’m sitting here working away and I have the door to my balcony open because it’s insanely lovely out today. It’s 1:17pm in the afternoon, on a Tuesday, and I’m listening to a whole lot of merriment from across the street.

So, this family moved in over there right? It’s a pretty big house, but still - there must be about 27 of them. Yes, that was an exaggeration. Men, women, teens and children and a shitload of cars, one of which has enough bass capacity to shake our building. They’re out there now hanging in their driveway, a whole slew of ‘em, complete with children screaming and a loud ass stereo in the background.

I don’t mean to be a buzz kill, they’re all nice enough people—but what? It’s a Tuesday. At 1:17 in the afternoon. If I have to be stuck in my office and have to have a day job, so should everybody else in the world. So to me, it’s just so odd that there are people “out and about” at any random given moment of the day. Isn’t that weird? I am not talking about moms home with their kids - the whole family is out there, I suspect some aunts and uncles and cousins are involved.

I don’t have a conventional job and I’ve been known to take a bike ride in the middle of the day if it’s nice out or whatever, but that’s about the extent of it. Wonder if these people that you see just out having a lovely day in the middle of the week in the middle of the afternoon have jobs at all, or how they manage to get away with such a life of luxury. I want to know.

Then there’s the guy who is LAYING on my adopted flower pot down the street, full-on squishing all the flowers I tend to and water and nurture and pick empty 40s and half eaten sandwiches out of each weekend. I mean, what the fuck is that guy doing?

Posted by chepooka on 08/07 at 12:11 PM

Comments

I had to leave work early one day last week because I wasn’t feeling so hot and decided to just throw in the towel and go home and sleep it off. So, I left the office at 2:45 in the afternoon and found myself wondering the exact same thing!!! Why are all these people just hanging out in the middle of the day on a wednesday?? How can you just go shopping or to the movies or whatever at that time? There’s so MANY of them too!!
Then, I remembered, when I worked at TBS in Anchorage, I didn’t even start work until 4 or 5 pm some days. So that’s it--all these people must work in the mall of course!! There is just no other explanation. Or they’re independently wealthy or just crackpot losers mooching off friends and family and skating through life…

Posted by therealkrista on 08/07 at 07:33 PM

LOL - I do this too. I only have one neighbor though so it is not as exciting. They work so I watch their dogs. Although I do keep track of the birds that visit the feeder outside my window. Cripes, I need a life.

Maybe because there are 27 of them living in the house they can all pay $75/month rent.

Go kick that flowerpot-laying-in-jerk’s butt. Or better yet, go water him.

Posted by balou on 08/10 at 12:21 PM