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This weekend I continued my soul-searching about becoming a vegan.  Turns out, it’s quite a big change and there’s a lot more involved than just tossing out your cheddar and frozen chicken wings. 

I started by buying a couple of good cookbooks (Vegan with a Vengeance and Vegan Planet), figured I can’t live on Amy’s no-cheese pizza and tomato and avocado sandwiches forever.  I want to eat well and that’s going to require a commitment to planning, cooking and being super creative in the kitchen. 

This speaks to me for some reason.  I got REALLY excited at the notion that I can’t be a lazy-ass; that not cooking is not an option, it’s something I have to do.  Having restrictions on ingredients forces me to look at new foods I wouldn’t try otherwise (I bought my first butternut squash in my 37 years on the planet!) and to consider and experience new flavors for what they are.  I don’t want to be running around trying to make something taste like a hot dog or a grilled cheese sandwich (I don’t *get* that, yuck!) I want to open my mind to new experiences, and see how much I can kick ass in the kitchen. 

But, I made a lot of mistakes shopping, I spent WAY too much money.  Fuck.  I am new. 

Remember your first day of high school or college when you felt a little bit like a dork trying to find your way around?  That was me trying to navigate my way around unchartered food aisle territories. 

Me:  “Excuse me sir, dumb question, I want to use this on a pizza but I don’t know my way around an artichoke, what do I do?”
Gay couple interrupts:  “Oh honey, for pizza??!” “Get the jarred kind, it’s soooo much better!” *hand gestures fabulousness*
Italian Produce Guy:  “Oh no, no no no.  I’m Italian.  Pizza?  Oh my.  Come here, let me help you.” *takes me by hand and drags me to olive oil marinated artichoke hearts*

It’ll take awhile. 

Anyway, I bought stuff that was too expensive at all the wrong places for fear of looking stupid.  I spent the better part of a day shopping, then dashing out to pick up this that or the other.  It’ll take me awhile to figure out “my pantry” of staples and where to get produce at the best price, etc.  I’ll get better.

The way I figure, it breaks down to this:

Stuff to Put Stuff Stuff On
Pasta
Brown Rice
Tortillas
Bread
Pizza Dough

Stuff
Vegetables
Proteins (tofu, tempeh, and some other stuff I’ve never heard of)
Nuts
Fruit

Stuff to Make it Taste Good
Seasonings
Oil
Sauces
Spreads (i.e. Vegenaise)
Peppers
Onions, Garlic, Ginger and so forth

Stuff I Need to Invest In
A kick ass chopping knife
Food processor
Bread Maker
*GOOD* blender
Juicer

Not so bad at all.  I made roasted butternut squash soup, enough for the week (that’s another key, I think, to make enough for lots of leftovers so you don’t have to cook 3 hours a day).  I attempted to make pizza (scratch dough and sauce), but that was a flop.  Normally I don’t FLOP in the kitchen, but my usual winging it improvisational style didn’t fly so well, this one requires precision, plus I don’t have the right kitchen gear (pizza stone, baking sheets purchased after 1994, real oven mitts ... oh yes I’m that new). 

The good news, with the pizza fixin’s in my fridge, I whipped up this lunch in the time it takes to boil pasta:

Whole Wheat Penne - pantry
Canned Corn - pantry
Leftover Roasted Bell Peppers & Onions & Mushrooms from pizza night
Pesto leftover from pizza night
Olive Oil - pantry
Sea Salt

Put all the stuff in the bowl with the pasta, microwave for one minute, MMMMMM!  I think I could learn to like this lifestyle change stuff.  It’s a far cry from my usual pop-a-lean-cuisine-in-microwave routine. 

Another thing I did over the weekend is surf various vegan blogs and podcasts.  Some are fantastic, some really turn me off.  I’m not really loving the *angry vegan* thing.  I don’t get it.  What’s with all the whining? 

“Nobody understands us, it’s so hard being a vegan!”

“I just want to laugh at people that pronounce Vegan wrong don’t you?  People are so stupid, it’s just so hard to be us.”

“I came out to my parents and they were so not supportive of my veganism.”

“OH MY GOD MY ROOMMATE COOKED A CHICKEN IN MY PAN CAN YOU BELIEVE IT I WANTED TO KILL HIM!!!” (It’s just, you know, the irony.  lol)

“She used to be vegan but then she ate a ham sandwich, STUPID FUCKING EVIL BITCH!!!!!!!!”

I mean, it’s all rather absurd to me.  Maybe I’m missing some underlying religion to all of this but I ask you, what the fuck is so complicated about “I’ve given up dairy and meat for a variety of reasons, please pass the steamed veggies.” ?

To change the world, you just can’t be an asshole, nobody will listen.  That is all I have to say about that. 

For anybody that read my post about the Stila lipstick that I’m in lurve with, I just wanted to let you know that if you’re interested in trying these out, I discovered a very similar and much cheaper product over the weekend—these right here. 

I bought a couple of them because they looked the same (see Stila’s here) and I once read that different cosmetics companies order the same product from the same source, throwing on different logos is the only real difference.  I am not saying that’s the case here, I have no idea (nor do I care), but for $2.99 a piece I figured might as well give it a shot.  Happy I did. 

The flavor is different, a bit more minty, but otherwise pretty much the same only cheaper.  In fact!  I put Stila on one lip and WNW on the other and I couldn’t tell them apart.  Well, one of them felt $11-plus-shipping more fancier, way down deep in my heart. 

After hearing so much fuss and buzz about this book online and from friends who’ve started passing it around, I read Skinny Bitch yesterday afternoon (it’s a super fast read).

This book, judged solely by it’s cover, is a book written by former models, toted around by uber-skinny fashionistas, and you’re thinking what I’m thinking: “eat dust and lemon water and you’ll be all set, that’ll be $13.95 please.”

Hand to God I had no idea that this book was an argument for adopting a vegan lifestyle.  *Swear!*

It’s an entertaining read because it’s written in that voice you have in your head, for example: “You know you shouldn’t eat that dough dipped in lard, right asshole?”

People!!  It seems like the universe has been trying to tell me something lately.  I was ready to read this book I think.  I’ve gone from steak and martinis to hmmm, maybe I’ll stop eating meat to, “what would happen if I became a vegan?”

First, I meet my awesome neighbors who are veggies. They’re normal people with cute clothes and stylish haircuts and they just happen to drink rice milk rather than martinis, nachos rather than burgers.  So that got me thinking.  They don’t seem like those people—lesbians with good skin and a rolled up yoga mat tucked inside their pit, or middle-aged men that smell a little funky because they don’t use antiperspirant, with graying pony tails and t-shirts that say “Buy Local”.  Now.  Don’t misunderstand, I’m a fan.  But I just don’t happen to identify.  (Come to think of it, when I decided I was a feminist around age 20—I never did look much like my womens studies classmates but decided that giving up shaved legs and nail polish wasn’t necessary and they were gonna have to deal. hmmmm.)

Let me get back to the book, first.  In a nutshell, to be healthy, you have to give up all your vices.  Those include:

caffeine
alcohol (with the exception of organic, no-sulfites-added wine)
cigarettes
meat
dairy
aspertame (bye bye diet pepsi)

Uh, check please!

I no longer smoke, got it.  I’ve already cleared my pantry of products containing hydrogenated oils or high fructose corn syrup and I survived.  I can live without eating farm animals, done.  But the rest is going to be a challenge.

First, I am going to chip away at ridding aspertame.  That’s going to be a hard one because I’m addicted to diet pepsi, but I know I need to do it.  In fact I’ve done it before and I feel so much better.  But if I do that?  I’ll have to keep coffee. 

I can give up dairy and eggs.  This one is going to be super super hard, but luckily there are substitutes.

What I won’t give up, though, is fish.  I live in Alaska see.  And I get 100% of my fish straight from the people who catch them.  I know where they come from, I know that they don’t languish and suffer, that they come from clean waterways.  I might even partake in venison, which also comes straight from the people who hunt them.  I grew up in that culture, in a family where respect for animals and hunting and fishing were not mutually-exclusive.

Now, here’s the dilemma.  I don’t want to go around being all high and mighty and pure because I’m making sacrifices based on ethical considerations and then not have a label.  I think that deserves a label! 

I remember once in college I had a spanish teacher, and she told us en espanol that she was a veg, only, she did eat animals that she caught herself.  Like, she loved frog legs.  The crazy woman caught her own frogs and cooked them up for dinner.  There has to be a special label for that.

Vegetarians and vegans want those labels to *mean something* and I totally, 100% respect that.  I can’t say I’m a vegan if I eat fish, they’d probably sooner hunt me and eat me for dinner than eat a big mac.  (mmmm, big mac)

You’re an asshole if you live your life as a hypocrite, I won’t do it.  I will be making some changes, though.  To be continued ...

I got my canvas grocery bags today.  They had them at the local grocery for $.99 each so I got me 4 of ‘em.  They hold a TON of stuff, I was shocked.  I will probably buy a whole bunch more to give to family and friends, ‘cause I’m preachy and “If I’m doing it you must too” like that.

Also, get a load of the food I just bought.  All from the crunchy-granola section!  I even bought soy cheese!!

I may be curious about becoming a vegetarian, but doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly stop eating convenience food, yo. 

Also, please take note of the vitamin pack.  A dear old friend of mine dropped by at our request so she could tell us about this new business she’s involved with.  Yes, it’s a multi-level marketing scheme and yes, I’m aware that I’m becoming a vegetarian AND one of those people all in the same week.  But ok, so I took the “PM” vitamins and I’ve never slept so good in as long as I can remember.  I have a REALLY hard time with sleep, hopeless insomniac.  I sometimes take melatonin which helps, but I don’t feel quite right about doing that every single day.  And I won’t take sleeping pills for various reasons.  Anyway, great night sleep.  Then, the “AM” pills got me going in the morning, I’ve felt SO GREAT today.  Serious.

So Brian is going to attend the training session this weekend to see what it’s all about.  I don’t think I’d be any good at multi-level marketing considering I don’t have much contact with humans, but Brian is so that guy.  Considering that it’s new (everyone knows if you get in early that’s when you can actually make money with these things), and considering that I’m wanting to buy these vitamins anyway, why the hell not?

I am getting to the point, also, where I feel the need to stop apologizing for everything I do that’s slightly off the beaten path of what society (the folks who brought you mastercard debt, global warming and heart disease) deems “normal”. 

If I’m to become a skinny, healthy bitch who looks 30 when she’s 40, with money in the bank and the ability to travel the world on a whim, then I’m going to have to take some chances, make some changes, and try new things.

I really wish I hadn’t clicked this link, that shows the ill-treatment of animals on big production farms because as you know, I’m trying really hard not to become a vegetarian.

Also?  I have always been of the belief that PeTA People are C to the R to the AZY.  I’m for the ethical treatment of animals, don’t get me wrong. I’ve always been against animal testing in the cosmetics industry, I pay the extra dollar to get the free-range eggs, my dog sleeps on a bed of velvet pillows. 

But how can you take an organization seriously when it’s fronted by Boobala Anderson? 

It’s not just that, it’s that they’ve always appeared to me to be extremists who value animal rights more than human rights.  But maybe I was wr-wr-wrong.  Truth is, I knew that some crazy shit went on at those big production farms, I just didn’t want to think about it.  Now, this, combined with the cow farts causing global warming thing, GAH!  *hands over ears as I sing Mary had a Little Lamb*

I got about half way into that video and I almost passed out.  “Ok, ok, I’ll stop eating meat, I’ll stop!!  Stop this, just stop dismembering the cow ALIVE PLEAAAAAASE!!!!!!”

I’m going to become one of those people, aren’t I?  SHIT!!!!!!!!!