Chepooka.com

I’m pretty excited about 2009.  How about you?

I’m not really sure why, exactly.  Maybe it’s because the worst. president. ever. will finally be leaving Washington, and we’ll have a president that reads and speaks English and stuff again.  YIPEE! 

Or, because this is the last year I’ll be in my 30s, and am feeling great about where I’m at: single by choice, playing by my rules, daring to dream the big dreams and knowing that it’s okay for them to come true, they WILL come true - because I am worth it, and I deserve it.

Whatever the reason, 2009 just feels ... electric ... like many, many exciting and wonderful changes are in store.  I realize this is all entirely and inappropriately optimistic considering the state of the world, but I refuse to believe the sky is falling.

WHO AM I? 

*farts rainbows*

One thing that has “come up” with Magic Al is that I have a fairly bad view of my past, despite the fact that I’ve had a pretty blessed life.  I have spent so much time being “stuck” after this painful life experience or that, that I feel like I missed out on a whole lot of my 30s.  I regret that I didn’t take better care of myself, love myself more. 

We did a timeline exercise recently and I really did not enjoy that.  I could see all of the great things that happened in the last 10 years, things I’ve accomplished and things I am very proud of, happy times ... but I also saw a lot of things I don’t really love thinking about.  Failed relationships, people that took advantage of me, stress and depression.  Yuck. 

I told her okay that’s enough, let’s focus on the present and the future, I’ll come back to this later.

Well, so happens I picked up a book called The Time Paradox, and so far it’s proven to be quite relevant.  It’s about how we relate to the concept of time, and how our attitudes about our past shape our present and future.

Well come to find out, we all have the power to recreate our past by changing our attitudes about it.  And that is something that brings me a great sense of comfort, because “where I’ve been” has led me to this joyful, content and optimistic place. 

May this year be fun, rewarding, filled with love and abundance.  Happy New Year!!

I had my first official coaching session yesterday. 

You know, when I signed up for this, I wanted somebody to help me draft a mission statement and help me set goals for my business for 2009, but as I’m finding out, it doesn’t work that way.  I don’t just get to dive into my issues of the day and ask for help. 

It’s much more holistic, and a much larger process than all of that.  I can see now that I’m going to get more out of this than I thought, and the lessons I learn will apply not only to my business, but all aspects of my life. 

I have never been to therapy and I’m not sure what that’s like, but having somebody objectively state an observation about me is ... strange.  Uncomfortable?  Profound.

One of the more humorous things I’m learning about myself is that I tend to be very enthusiastic, and I go overboard ... a lot.  I suppose anybody that is close to me will attest to that fact shut up. 

One of my first assignments is to “practice under-doing”. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Hillar’.

Also dudes, it is way cool to have someone on staff that is paid to encourage you, hold you accountable, point out your strengths, and help you let go of the negative stuff that holds you back.  I have my own personal cheerleader!  BAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH.  Totally brill’. 

Now, I just need to make sure that this investment translates into a real return in financial terms so I can keep her on my team! 

(Along with my imaginary future personal chef, trainer and housekeeper, of course.)

It’s been awhile since I’ve visited my neighborhood grocery store.  Despite its close proximity to my home, the prices are inflated, the selection sucks, it’s dirty and grungy and there are always inebriates and vagrants milling about outside.  And let’s not forget the cashier I told you guys about. 

This morning, I had a particularly challenging work situation that had me a bit hot under the collar, so I decided to wait 15 minutes before shooting off an emotionally-based email and run down to the store to pick up some coffee filters.

As I walked up to the line, I saw an old friend of mine from high school just ahead of me getting donuts.  She’s always good for a laugh, just want I needed.  Then she says,

“How’s your friend?”
Me: “Oh, Brian?  Doing good!  He has his Christmas party tonight and I don’t get to go, I’m bummed.  He’s bringing his girlfriend, can you believe the nerve?” (Said in a very joking way.)
Her: “So you guys are still living together?  Oh I’d have a problem with that, doesn’t his girlfriend get upset?”
Me: “Evidently she doesn’t.  We’re great roommates so it all works out.”
Cashier to my friend: “Did she say that she was living with her ex-boyfriend?  Oh, that’s not right.”
Me to cashier: “Why?  It works for us.  We’re friends, we’re happy, why should we care what other people think?”
Cashier to me: “Yeah but ... *judgmental eye roll* Don’t you get a just a leeeeeeetle bit jealous?”
Me: “No, I care about him.  I want him to be happy.  We are great friends, we just don’t work as a couple.”
Cashier to me: “Why not!?”
Me: “......”
Cashier to my friend: “She’s lost a lot of weight.”

So I did it.  I set up a meeting with a business coach/leadership consultant.  I meet with her for the better part of this morning. 

I spent the weekend answering 12 questions about myself - which proved to be an incredibly difficult task because I spend more time thinking about what I am not than focusing on my strengths.  After awhile, it all started flowing though, and all of my hopes, dreams, successes and failures poured on to the pages.  Now it’s Alice’s job to sort me out and point me in the right direction.

I am using my Hawaiian vacation fund to pay for this, hoping that the return on the investment will allow me to go on more than just one proper white-sand-and-pina-coladas-style holiday every decade or so.  I turn 40 in 2009, and I am determined to make it the best year ever, and set a coarse for the rest of my life to be exponentially more wonderful than the first half. 

And dudes, I really think this goal requires the enlistment of a professional.  Wish me luck! 

Lately I’ve been consumed with goal setting and planning for 2009.  Which I know sounds like something corporate-types do when they want to look busy, but I swear, it’s a real and important thing: If I don’t take the time to pause and prepare, pretty soon it’s October again and I’m so swamped I can’t find my way out of my in-box, and I’ve not improved anything from year to year because I never had a plan. 

So I plan. 

Part of the process is stepping back and looking at the big picture and answering big questions like, “What do I want out of life?” (Want to know how this relates to keeping your junk drawers more organized?  Read on!)

Disorganization and chaos, stress, always being “so busy”, reacting to each day and never feeling as though it turned out quite as you intended—well, I just hate this state of being!  It is no way to live an exceptional life! 

I’m coming to realize that these are all symptoms of dis-ease - in ourselves, in our culture.  We’re admired and applauded for our ability to juggle fifty three things at once, and to “go the extra mile” for others, never for ourselves, and especially for work - YAY US!  Great job! We rule!

We complain about being “too busy” and can find a sympathetic ear attached to just about any warm body we encounter.  Nobody says, “Awww, that’s so sad, you should take more time to smell the flowers like I do, look how HAPPY I AM!” If you’re lucky, someone will scribble down the title of a particularly enlightened time management book for you.

The last couple of months have been overwhelmingly stressful and I’ve been reflecting on how to alleviate/prevent some of the pressure in the new year.  While of course taking on a whole lot more and setting bigger goals. 

At first I thought the answer was for me to hire a personal assistant to help get me organized, free up some time so I could recharge my batteries and sharpen my tools and insert other cliche metaphors here. 

Then I realized that if I were more organized, had a better system, I would probably save so much time that I wouldn’t need a PA.  I’m a fairly together and organized person, but spend about 3.5 hours per day looking for my car keys. 

In the process of getting organized, which I’ve been working on for a couple of weeks now, I’ve had to face a few difficult and painful truths about myself.  The biggest one is the realization that I keep myself “busy” because I am afraid of facing the voids and empty spaces in my life:  What if I get so organized that I actually HAVE that coveted free time? 

Uh.

So my task now is to make a list.  Or two or three.  Of things that I want to fill my life with once I eliminate the clutter, the waste, the inefficiencies.  I have an appointment with a business/leadership coach who is going to help me fine tune all of this, which I’m pretty excited about.  A much better investment than a personal assistant, I’m thinking.

2009 is going to be the best year ever.  The most fun, the most relaxed, the most profitable, and the most personally fulfilling.  Maybe I’ll blog more, read more, travel more, get laid!  Not so bad facing the painful truth of empty spaces when there are so many wonderful things to fill them up with. 

That’s the plan so far, anyway.